Our Beloved……

BRONKO BILLY

7/8/2008 – 12/7/2020

7/8/2008 – 12/7/2020

and sadly In Memory of:

Our Beloved……

That BFC Bengal Boys were one of the greatest gifts we’ve had.  They taught us pure joy, cammraderie and how to just sit back and enjoy.  They were involved in all we do.  I’ll post pictures further down showing how helpful they were.

I had planned to give Duma his own page, but it seems better over this past year to have him be with his greatest buddy, Bronk.  I will add more pictures of Duma over time.

12/14/2020     Bronk – we can’t believe you’re gone.  You have brought so much joy and light to every part of our world.  Just three weeks ago you were tearing around the house, voicing your opinion on everything and snuggling tight with Duma.  You got sick so quickly and we couldn’t let you suffer.  The way we stared at each other right before, I know you understand.  You looked at me like you are looking in the picture right above.  Your stare always went right through me.  About a year ago you learned how to communicate.  Food was a big part of your life – you loved to eat.  You would come and bounce around in front of me until I thought to ask if you were hungry.  You would then go running to the kitchen.  Then one day you looked up at me and made a different kind of meow sound than you had before.  I asked if you were hungry and staring right at me you meowed again.  My trip to the kitchen had you rubbing around legs in circles as I walked.  You were never much into touching your people and i was thrilled.  We learned to *talk* to each other.

Being very close to your wild ancestors, you had many wild characteristics.  You were always on alert, checking for the predators hiding behind the chair and the things that only cats can see.  You were taking care of us.

You did one thing I never had a cat (or other animal) do.  I called it your Room service.  I started noticing your favorite ball in an empty food dish.  If there was more than one empty dish it was in the flavor you liked best.  I started hiding the ball to see if it was coincidence or you were putting it there on purpose.  Sure enough, you started using the ball to let me know to fill it up just about all the time.  The next place I found the ball, was near the litter box.  The routine became you would do your thing, place the ball near the box and then let out a jungle cry that could be heard throughout the house.  The only thing I could come up with was you wanted me to clean it.  When I went back to *obey* you sat watching me and turned as soon as i was done and went about your day.  A couple of years ago your ball was replaced with toys, feathers, any of your properties.  This was because you ate one of your balls.  This required a trip to the vet hospital and surgery which neither of us liked.  We hated to remove all the balls, but we had no choice.  You used to put them in your food dish and eat around them.  That is how one accidentally ended up as lunch.

Duma really misses you too.  You’ve been together for 12 years and it’s hard for him to know what to do with himself.  I wish I could see you both like this again:

Bronk – this is one of the hardest things we’ve had to go through.  I will probably return to talk to you again….Suz

 

12/18/2020  In some ways I feel I just saw you…in others it seems the world is going so slowly.  I know time will help the hurt and I want to get past this point!  I miss you so much.  I wake at night and listen for your howl as you patrol your territory.  Or I hear a slight noise and turn to look.

I think Duma is finally really feeling you aren’t going to return.  He’s been sleeping way more than usual, eating too much or too little, following us and chirping at us constantly when he’s awake.  I feel so bad for him.  I will reach out today to find ways to help him through this.  There must be something I can do.

Losing you as we did made me realize the vagaries of life will never settle down.  We have to learn to shift with them…this is where true strength is.  I am going to concentrate for 2021 on how i can best give back to the life I’ve had and how to reach out to others to offer help.  And Bronk, you will always be in my mind and heart.

 

12/19/2020  I came across this picture and I had to share.  Typical Bronk!

 

I’ve been working on an embroidery design of you, Bronk.  Here it is to date: (Finished design: https://bfc-creations.com/bfc31602-bronko-billy-reaches-for-the-stars.html)

12/31/2020  It is finally the last day of the year, Bronk.  So much of this past year has been so difficult, but not seeing you any more is the worst for me.  I love looking at the picture above that I’m using to create a design.  It is so much your personality- always looking up for the next best thing you can find.  The picture above has you standing on the ironing board looking up and out the sky light.

I love you….

1/7/2021  It’s a new year Bronk – I so wish you were here to explore and play and enjoy life.  I received a very special gift from a special friend today.  He sent it to me because of you and it means so much.

We’re trying hard to take special care of your buddy who misses you very much.  It’s so hard when we can’t explain why you aren’t here to snuggle with him.   Both of you boys are so beautiful and so special.  I’ve been gathering all the photos we have of you and Duma on our computers and there are hundreds!  I’ll post really special ones here.

Our sweet innocent kitties:

Good bye for now, my furry little person.

12/17/2021  Many  people have expressed how much you will be missed.  One lady has saved all the pictures posted of you and Duma and loves to look  at them.  I still look through your photos every day.

Bronk – I still can’t believe that you aren’t here anymore.  I thought by now I would at least have accepted that.  But I haven’t.  Duma is missing you so much too.  I can’t make up for the brotherhood and attention you gave him.  Everything happened so quickly we had no time to prepare ourselves.  I thought of you as still very young the way you tore through the house, leaped to the top of the huge cat trees, and learned new things every day.  I can’t believe my two beautiful boys are only one beautiful cat now.

I will always love you.

02/07/2021  Two long/short months since we saw you.  You are with me every day.  I went to look at the pictures from the first day you arrived on the plane.  You ended up behind the TV that day and we had to move everything to get you out.  But….we learned after that when you looked at something with such intent!  We also heard your real wild jungle cat roar when you got stuck somewhere.  LOL

Duma was not quite a year old and he couldn’t keep up with that day!

I still can see you exploring everywhere – you never lost that lust to see what is on the other side or on top of something.

03/29/21  It will be four months next week since I’ve seen you.  It’s still like it was this morning.  I still go around the house expecting to see you somewhere.  Or hear you.  One of the tasks i had set for myself this coming year was to record all your sounds.  Now they will only remain in my and Rick’s memories.  He still misses you as much as I do.  And I don’t know what to do to sooth Duma.  He was always so clean and shiny when you were here and cleaned him everyday.

IMG_2200

This was you and Duma playing with new catnip fish that had just arrived. Until I can figure how to play it here, our visitors will have to download this and watch it.

I miss you….

4/6/21  Tomorrow it will be 4 months.  I was hoping by this time I would feel a little more settled, but not yet.  Every once in awhile I think Duma might be getting a little better, but he is still lost without you.  If anyone has any suggestions for Duma I would love to hear them!  We can’t get another cat though.  And Duma is very particular – we could go through 20 cats until he found one he likes.

I found some more pictures.  This is where you would often sit while I’m working.  It’s the chair next to mine.  I could never get over how shiny you were in the sun!

Here is how close you and Duma were – the last few years you were inseparable.

I just came across this picture.  Carol wrote me a nice message and mentioned Angels with Whiskers.  Below is truly a little Angel with Whiskers.

The spirit behind those eyes will never die – it lives in the hearts of all who knew him.

Suz

 

5/11/2021  Five months – and I still can’t believe it or accept it.  I’ve been thinking about the difference between you and Duma.  Duma is a regular full Bengal and you  were an F3 – Foundation Bengal.  This means you were the third generation from the Asian leopard cat.  You were much closer to the wild in many ways than to domestication.  Duma has the Bengal spirit and craziness.  But at heart he is a domestic cat that depends on his humans for food, love, every part of his life.  He may show it differently than other breeds – for example he hates to be held – but he is just as loving and fun as any domestic cat.  Duma lives with us in our world.

Bronk was totally different.  I always said we lived in Bronk’s world.  He claimed his territory and patrolled it, protected it, defined what was good and bad.  He only wanted interaction with us on his terms.  No touching, though he was getting to let us pet him around the head and neck.  Occasionally we could pet his belly as he lay upside down in the sun on a window perch.  Of course, you were risking being attacked by the *bear trap*.  He watched us intently.  Sometimes while I was working I would feel his eyes on me.  I hadn’t heard him come up the stairs – he could easily avoid disturbing you.  During his early years he would bring me his ball to play fetch.  He loved to play fetch.  He would run and bring back the ball maybe 10 times.  Then he would run and sit right next to the ball and stare at us.  When we finally gave in and got the ball he was all happy and bounced back to where I was sitting waiting for me to throw it again.  We would do a few of me fetching, then we would go back to him fetching.  He often would disappear up here.  He had several ways to get inside the mountains of fabric. He would never come when called, but when he was ready, he would appear from *no where* stretching and yawning, looking at me like *what’s your problem – I’ve been here right along*.

I will return to write more of your adventures.  Maybe someone else will enjoy them too.

I love you.

I got through the 6 month mark since you had to leave us.  It hasn’t gotten easier and I feel like you are right behind me all the time.  You sure loved to play fetch when you were younger.  You would totally wear yourself out!  Your favorite place to *chill* was on a kitchen chair under the table cloth.  I got where i had to make sure I always had a tablecloth long enough to almost cover you.  LOL

And when you and duma wanted a good rest, you would take over my bed.

December 7th, 2021

It is so hard to know what happened exactly one year ago today.  I’ve worked very hard at trying not to think of you as much, but it’s impossible.  You are still as much a part of me as you were 12 months and one day ago.  I am thrilled the nights I dream of you because I can hear your voice, see you run and play,  watch you and Duma be total buddies.  Duma has not really recovered either though he is doing better.  I know he still misses his best friend.

I will end today’s entry with more pictures that bring back such wonderful memories.  Goodby again my little furry friend – you are always with me.

April 16, 2022

It’s hard for me to believe so many months have passed.  A day doesn’t go by I don’t think of you and wonder how much more we would have accomplished together in communicating.

Just today I was coming down the stairs your picture caught my eye and i was immediately in tears.  It was a if I had seen you for a fleeting moment.

Some more pictures that remind me of how you were always looking at things only cats can see:

December 6, 2022

Tomorrow it will be two years since I last saw you.  already the tears are in my eyes.  In so many ways it’s as if you never left. Sometimes I hear a noise and before I can think i look to see you.  The think I am most sorry about losing was the breakthrough we had in communication.  You knew certain words – your name of course, stop, fetch, food, etc.  But it was as any other cat I’ve had.  I often work down in the living room and I have a computer on a table I put in front of the couch.  I can log into my big computer upstairs. As I would work you would come over if you wanted food.  You wouldn’t make a noise, just sit under the table staring up at me. I started answering like *are you hungry* *do you want food*.   One day I made my comment and you looked up at me and let out this long little meow.  You had never made that sound before! I asked if you wanted food and still staring straight into my eyes he meowed again and turned his head.  I got up and you came over and did circles in and around my legs – like the circus animals.  I was afraid you’d kill us but your whole body was pure joy!  You do this all the way to the kitchen and cabinet with the cat food.  This became an everyday occurrence – both of us getting totally joyful over the communication.  I  thought of all the things we could learn. Two short months later you were gone.  I wonder what we could have taught each other if you were still here.

I’ve tried to figure out why Rick and I are having such a hard time with you being gone.  The website had become overwhelming and we spend all of our time on it.  You and Duma gave us periodic breaks all day.  Sometimes food, sometimes play, sometimes just watching the two of you together.  You were such an integral part of our lives.  You gave us love, entertainment, curiosity and I don’t think I will ever stop wanting you with me.

I will never stop loving you my Bronko Billy.  Duma has left us too and I picture the two of you together again.

February 18, 2023

I thought I would learn to live without my two boys.  But it is still as hard as the day you left.  I hear you in the normal creaking of the house and i see you out of the corner of my eye as a shadow passes by.  I always loved being in bed and feeling one or both of you jump up and get settled between my legs.  Some nights I swear I can feel the bed sinking a little with your weight.  I know none of these things are real, and I try hard not to pay attention.  I am good except when it is dark and the night is half gone.

People have suggested we get a cat.  I’m not ready – I don’t think I ever will be.  The two of you were so unique – both together and indivually. I’m afraid I would only be comparing and that is not good for me or a new member of the family.

I can still feel the warmth of your fur and I will always love you as I do now.

February 9, 2024  I haven’t written here for some time because I couldn’t stop crying every time I did. 🙂  I’m crying now because I miss my boys so much!  They were taken from this world too early.  Bronk had just turned a corner learning to communicate – what could he have learned with a few more years?  Now I can only imagine.  But I still can feel his warm fur as it if were yesterday – and the same for Duma.  I hear Duma at my feet chirping for treats as he did every morning.  Poor Duma never really recovered from losing Bronk.  He would chirp at me but nothing I did satisfied him.  I always thought he was asking for Bronk.

I love my boys.